Between the Shadow and the Soul
by EmaniaHilel
Summary: [Drabbles] XRaven. Response to the themes found on livejournal's Titan Drabbles community. All of these are 100 words or less. There will be thirty drabbles in total, posted in sets of 10. [COMPLETE]
1. Part, the First

**Initial Notes:**

1. This is a Red-X/Raven pairing. There! ((exhales)) That's out in the open now! Whew!

2. These are 100 word or less drabbles. I will post them in sets of 10 each.

**A/N:** So, you might notice these are kind of short. Yeah, that's cause these are challenge responses to a set of themes found on lj's (that's livejournal, for those of you not 'in the know') community called titandrabble. I briefly considered requesting the pairing officially, but I never really get good responses to my submissions on those communities, so I figured why bother? Also, **_Guyute24_** (who, some of you might know as the wonderful authoress of _The Song Remains the Same_ and her own set of Drabbles done for the Speedy/Rae pairing, _Every Grain of Sand_) informed me that the drabble community only accepts drabbles of _exactly_ 100 words. I couldn't make myself change some of the ones with less words, so that cinched it. I won't be posting them onto that community.

You can look forward ((she says optimistically)) to three sets posted under this fic title, each set containing ten drabbles. I've got 1-20 of the themes written out, but only 1-10 actually beta'd. I did those quite a while ago it feels like now. But I promised that I wouldn't post the first ten until I had the second set of ten already written. And the second set of ten will not be posted until I've got the last ten done. What I will do is post drabbles 11-20 onto 'emsscraps' so people can critique them and help me beta them, so if you want to see them really badly (bad enough to chance seeing them in draft form) then go ahead and find them on there. (they're not friend locked)

**Thanks:** Specifically to everyone who commented on them at my 'emsscraps' when I posted this first set. And especially to **_Guyute24_** who beta'd them and did a wonderful job of helping me tighten them up and make sure they made sense. And, as always, to my plot sounding boards, **_Absentia_** and **_Kysra_**.

_**Between the Shadow and The Soul  
One  
**__**by Em**_

"_I love you as certain dark things are to be loved/ in secret, between the shadow and the soul."  
_-- Pablo Neruda

_**01: Love (100)**_

A chemical reaction. Nothing more, nothing less. An ancient drive held over from a time when we were killed off by predators like flies and survival was everything.

Pleasure and pain are quantifiable. Love, it's just a genetic slight of hand, a biological bait and switch.

The ultimate con. One someone like me can see coming but still can't avoid.

All I'd have to do to stop these ridiculous thoughts and desires is block that part inside me that triggers this reaction whenever I see her. Simple, really.

New project: Figure out and exorcise the biological need to love Raven.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_**02: Hate (46)**_

"I don't hate him."

"What does _that_ mean?" Robin pressed.

Raven looked at a loss. "It means, I don't hate him."

"He's a thief and a criminal. You're supposed to hate him."

"I'm _supposed_ to be dead," she pointed out stoically. "But he changed that too."

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_**03: Rose (99)**_

It was just a rose. The kind that grew in the hedges along the one particular walk of the park. He didn't even go out of his way to get it, just plucked it right from the bush as he sped by.

But he hadn't cared about the thorns or the fact he was being chased and that any minute he spent on something so frivolous could be a moment where he was caught.

It was just a frivolous rose.

But Red-X chanced getting caught to give it to her, and Raven couldn't make herself throw it away.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_**04: Ring (98)**_

No one knew how important the ring was to Raven.

When Mumbo Jumbo took it off her finger as he held them captive it was just to have a trophy, something personal from each of the Titans to commemorate that they had fallen into his trap, even though he knew they'd eventually escape.

Later, when they'd captured him, no one knew the ring was special enough to make a fuss about.

X didn't know why the ring was important to Raven either, not even when he tapped at her window, ring laid out on his glove clad palm.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_**05: Blue (97)**_

He lost her every time she wore the white cloak. He didn't know why, exactly, only that the Raven she was in the white could_ never _be his the way she was in the blue.

He had no preference for white over blue. It was more than that. Her attitude, state of mind, thoughts, actions...they all changed when she wore the white.

He belonged with his dark beauty, mysterious and dangerous. He belonged with the Raven who embraced everything she was...

Not the one who tried to hide her darkness behind a cloak of blinding white.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_**06: Emotion (100)**_

"I don't believe you."

Raven looked into blank sockets that stood for eyes on the skull mask knew he was meeting her stare. She could feel it. "Believe what you like."

"Fine." He was laughing at her now; it was in his voice. "I'll believe that just because you don't show emotion doesn't mean you don't feel it." She shrugged almost imperceptibly. He took a step closer and chuckled. "Hell, if I can believe what I like, I might as well believe that you might like me just a little."

Before she could gather breath to speak, she was alone.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**_07: Cold_** **_(99)_**

_'Keep it_,' he'd said. His face had faded to sharp lines, strong jaw, deep eyes.

They had shared only minutes in the cold pre-dawn before the others joined her. She'd forgotten the details of him, even that the jacket he'd placed on her shoulders was in her closet.

She thought she'd forgotten _him_.

Then, X lunged at her. She ducked, inhaled...hesitated. She remembered that smell of crisp, clean evergreen. She backed away, and for a moment, they stared at each other across an expanse of blacktop.

"I have something to return to you."

"Keep it," he echoed.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_**08: Sleep (98)**_

It wasn't guilt that kept him awake nights. Before, he slept as soundly as anyone secure in their financial well-being could sleep.

_Which was to say, pretty damn well._

Now his sleep was elusive, shallow...fitful.

_She _came at night, after all. And since he couldn't go to her, she had made _that_ clear, he was left waiting for _'the right time '_

_Which was to say, when she felt like it._

That night, jolting awake and seeing her waiting before his bed, he _knew_ she took pleasure in waking him.

He made room for her, even so.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_**09: Music (95)**_

X thinks of people in terms of music.

He, himself, is a Sonata; all inconspicuous movement, until he is inside and under the skin.

At first, he thought Raven was a concerto: Fully composed and painstakingly organized. Not anymore, however. Now he knows better.

Sheis a fugue; ever evolving, changing-- adapting. She takes whatever melodies come at her and uses them to make the song her own.

She never really understands what he means, but she takes to humming Bach's Fugue No. 2 in C Minor at odd moments, and that's enough for him.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_**10: Picture (100)**_

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Robin remembered the old adage as he stared down at the frozen image in his hands. It took a few tries to translate shapes into recognizable forms: Raven's dark cloak hiding her body though the lowered hood betrayed her identity, the red and black costumed body pressed close, the skull mask near enough to touch.

They were talking. That much was obvious.

He crumpled the picture in his fist before wondering what about. "I trust her," he answered the unasked question.

The Batman made no comment when he left. He didn't have to.


	2. Part, the Second

**A/N:** For the initial notes, see Part I. The next (and last) set of 10 is posted on my 'emsscraps' in first draft form. These changed a little from when I posted them on my 'emsscraps' on March 17th of this year.

**Thanks:** To everyone who reviewed, saying you wanted to see more. To _**Absentia**_ and _**Guyute**_ and _**Kysra**_ for listening / reading my attempts at these, and for serving as sounding board and plot goddesses. Especially to those of you who reviewed with which of the ones in the last set were your favorites. I'm happy to see that one of my own personal favorites of the last set seemed to be a favorite among you, too. "Picture" was one of my favorites, too. I'll reply individually to y'all through ff.n's review response feature.

_**Between the Shadow and The Soul  
**__**Two  
**__**by Em**_

"_...thanks to your love, darkly in my body / lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth..."  
_-- Pablo Neruda, Sonnet XVII

_xxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**11: Luck (95)**_

X, it might surprise some, believed in chance. With a career like his, he almost _had_ to believe in luck. Afterall, when a guard decided that he preferred to pee during his break rather than go outside for his usual cigarette, despite all his preparation, the only thing that saved him from being caught was luck.

And although he didn't often think about it in those terms, as he watched Raven step out of the club by herself in that pre-dawn cold, he had to admit that yes, he was one _very _lucky bastard.

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

_**12: Movie (99)**_

There was something about seeing the fight with the detachment afforded by the plasma screen.

He watched the videos of his heists and fights to better himself. So, it was not surprising that he noticed _it_ while watching the footage of his latest fight with the Titans.

He couldn't remember making a conscious choice to goad her--to seek her out above any of the others.

And yet, there it was, captured plainly in digital film.

Exactly how far back, he wondered, would he have to search to find the exact moment he became obsessed by the Dark Witch?

xxxxxxxxxxx

_**13: Animal (99)**_

Robin tried, but only ever made her feel guilty. Phrases like, "You're better than this," meant to show encouragement and support served only to remind her how he couldn't _really_ understand.

She wasn't better than it.

She _was_ it.

This animal, this beast she called Rage was a part of her.

She could pretend it wasn't there, but she could _feel_ it, prowling just inside her skin...waiting.

They _might_ forgive her, but they would never _understand _her. They would make excuses, say she was 'only human'.

X _never_ made excuses. Not for himself, and certainly not for her.

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

_**14: Sky (84)**_

X could be accused of many things in his life, sure, but being a romantic was certainly not one of them. Neither was being poetic or idealistic.

To him, a flower was always just a flower, a sunset just the prep time before work and the sky was always just a big expanse of nothing stretching out into nowhere and everywhere.

Then he saw her hovering in the air full of righteous indignation with the sky a backdrop of color highlighting her untouchable beauty.

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

_**15: Beach (100) **_

Raven hated how the sand granules got everywhere. She hated that she could feel the salt from the very air sticking to her skin and hair, even though she wasn't anywhere near the water.

Yes, she liked the sounds of the ocean but still wouldn't go--if it were up to her.

It wasn't.

"What took you?"

She didn't want to sit on the sand, either, but X didn't particularly care. He pulled her down to sit in front of him, and wrapped his legs tight against hers, holding her in place.

She might've escaped, but then he kissed her.

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

_**16: Stars (99)**_

_He_ could name the constellations, each and every one.

It wasn't the strangest of his quirks, by far, but it was the first one she thought of when she looked up at the stars, striving to remember the name of the grouping almost directly above her.

Orion? Cancer?

She'd never asked how he learned their names, never asked him how he spoke three languages or why he was so good at math.

The details didn't matter. Except when they did.

"Hermes."

Turning, she stared at the red and black of his mask, and thought, _'Hermes: The thief.'_(1)

"Of course."

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

_**17: Dead (98)**_

He hated watching her sleep.

She looked dead asleep, and it was too easy to imagine what her responsibilities might lead her to one day. Sure, he flirted with danger, but he wasn't stupidly heroic like she was: he was a thief. Nothing was worth more than his life.

Except hers.

Ironic really, since her life was the living thing she thought had the least value of all.

He confessed to hating it, once.

"It won't look like sleep," she had assured him then. "When my kind die, we're just gone."

This did not comfort him at all.

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

_**18: Alive (97)**_

After the fight, after his unexpected heroics, after the fall, he came to her first.

He was bruised, bleeding, slightly limping. His left sleeve was torn in five places, there was a slash across his chest that might have been fatal if not for the armor-like qualities of the uniform's material and he'd lost the skull mask somewhere along the way. Whether he'd taken it off or it had been so badly broken it hadn't been worth salvaging, she didn't know.

All she _did_ know was that he was alive.

And that was more than enough.

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

_**19: Time (98)**_

Time was an enemy and X approached it in much the same way he approached any enemy. If it wasn't a threat, he ignored it (after all, why borrow trouble?) but if it was, he fought it.

He fought to win.

Sure, he knew win or lose, he'd have to do it all again the next time (there _would_ always be a next time – X knew that, too), he just never thought about it.

One day at a time was his motto.

It wasn't like he'd ever _stop_ fighting for every second he got to spend with her.

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

_**20: Forever (89)**_

"Hey, nobody said it'd last forever."

His words had been flippant, but he didn't face her until he had the mask back on. It was supposed to be enough to hide from her.

She wasn't supposed to live beyond her 16th year. They weren't supposed to to be together at all. He was a thief, she was a hero.

Forever wasn't supposed to loom like a curse before her.

Goodbye wasn't supposed to hurt.

_'He wasn't supposed to fall in love with me.'_

She wasn't supposed to _want_ forever.

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

**A/N:** I found myself being inspired for how to approach these (including the first set and the last set which is already done and posted on my 'emsscraps' and which you can expect here next week) by music, lines from poems, random things. I'll be posting what inspired each drabble on 'emsscraps' so if you're into that sort of thing, go look for it there.

**Special Note:** I said these wouldn't relate to each other, and they don't. Except for number 11: "Luck" and number 07: "Cold". I couldn't resist.


	3. Part, the Third

**A/N:** The themes 26-28 were provided by _**Absentia**_ (user ID: 386797) and can be found in her drabble post on ff.n, _"Three Little Words"_. (Story ID: 3522137) Read it. It's sooo good. I don't do the themes justice, but I asked her permission and she said I could use them.

Theme 29 was provided by _**Aileene**_ (user ID: 1112018) and theme 30 was provided by _**Guyute24**_ (user ID: 691047). I really hope they enjoy what I did with them.

_**Between The Shadow and the Soul  
**__**Three  
**__**by Em**_

"_I love you as the plant that never blooms / but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;"_  
- Pablo Neruda, Sonnet XVII

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**21: Fight (98)**_

If he had been paying attention, Robin might have noticed the change sooner.

He ducked under her punch, barely backflipping away from her kick. She was becoming a faster, more aggressive fighter. Still, he might never have noticed at all if she hadn't messed up and used _that_ move. Then, he just _knew_.

In two moves, he dropped her. Straddling her waist, one hand easily circling her slender neck, he pressed her down against the mat. She fought him for a moment, but then she saw his eyes.

"Don't lie to me."

He didn't have to say about what.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**22: Book (99)**_

She never let him in her room. It was an easy thing to get inside, anyway. It was just slightly more difficult to figure out where she hid it.

Not _impossible_, just difficult.

There were only so many places one could stash an ancient book big enough to whack someone with.

(To imprison someone in.)

He wasn't a master thief just 'cause of his pretty face, though, and in no time, it was his. (a personal best, really, considering.)

Maybe _she_ hadn't been able to destroy the book where that bitch Malchior was, but _he_ had no such qualms.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**23: Angel (97)**_

"I'm not going to go _that_ easy."

She quirks a brow at him. "You're awful sure of yourself."

"Damn straight."

There is a fierce desire to believe him that surprises her. "And why is that?"

He's straightforward and blunt as he replies; "Because I'll probably be going to hell and you're _definitely_ going to heaven."

She tries not to look surprised, but her voice betrays her. "You don't believe in heaven."

"But I do, Angel," His thumb rubs at her bottom lip, his tone gentle. "I believe in a place where you'll go and I can't follow."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**24: Holiday (99)**_

"Loosen up, you're on holiday."

She pushed him off and sat up, shaking grass from her hair. "Holiday or no, I am what I am. You are what you are."

"Are you saying we can't ever change?"

"I didn't pick to be this," she said.

"But I did," he observed.

She cocked her head. "Did you?"

"I can be a regular guy. I can even be a hero...if I wanted."

She laughed, the rare sound soothing even as it mocked. "Perhaps. But would I still want you if you were?"

He grinned, "I'll always be a little wicked."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**25: Snow (75)**_

She hated the cold, but you'd never know that by looking at her. She didn't shiver, she didn't stomp her feet or try to warm her hands, she stood perfectly still. So still, in fact, the flakes of snow settled onto her shoulders and in her hair as if she were one of the statues around them.

He hated when she surrendered to that kind of stillness.

"Waiting for me, dollface?" he asked. "I'm touched."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**26: Guilt (100)**_

Feeling this way was quite a heady thing.

Was it the way he kissed her, every time, like he had been certain he'd never get another chance? Or the way he looked at her as if he couldn't get enough? Or maybe because he so obviously prized every moment they stole for themselves?

It baffled her.

How could someone as genuinely selfish as X make her feel there was nothing in the world he desired more than her?

He made her feel wanted. Worthy.

Yes, he made her feel guilty. That too.

But the point was, _he_ made her feel.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**27: Name (93)**_

It was just a name. A nickname, even.

He had a dozen of them for her.

She wasn't like him. His given name wasn't Red-X, but her name _was_ Raven, it was the other that was just a cover.

So, what did it matter if she'd never told him? Why should he care if Robin knew it?

It didn't and he didn't.

Not really.

But...

"Hey, Rachel."

He watched as Raven turned and waited for her leader to catch up to her on the sidewalk. "Richard."

...why did she answer to it?

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**28: Honesty (93)**_

"Why don't you scream? Call out to your _friends_," he made the word an insult. "Go on," he flexed his fingers against her neck, not yet hard enough to hurt. "Save your pretty little neck."

Her hands were still at her sides, Raven would not degrade herself by flailing about or struggling. "Why don't you squeeze?" she countered calmly.

He was pleasantly surprised. "Let's be honest, sweetheart," he closed the distance between them, his thigh was touching hers, "Admit it: you want me."

"Let's be _honest_," she mocked. "You're the one holding me."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**29: Aberrant (96)**_

"You're kidding." He knew perfectly well she wasn't kidding at all.

"It's just the way it is," she answered.

Anger slammed into him with all the force of sudden pain. "Yeah?" he asked. "Does he touch you like I do?" he demanded.

She looked up and he knew the battle was lost even before the bell'd rung. "Robin and I fit," she said, plainly. "Love, need...fate," she shook her head. "He and I simply _are_."

"And what are we then?" X asked, lips twisted in a bitter imitation of a smile.

She turned, "An aberration."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_**30: Supernova **_

All things die.

Even love.

Was it love, what we had?

How should I know? I'm damaged goods. So is she, really. No one can be a villain _or_ a hero in this world without having some screws loose somewhere.

She and I...we're screwier than most, I suppose. Falling for your enemy? Carrying on an affair with them? It couldn't last. We both knew that.

Yes, all things die: vegetation, people, stars.

Some, like love, just die in a helluva spectacular way.

Like a supernova.

Explosive. _Catastrophic._ Sure.

But as it dies...

Damn, what a light.

_xxxxxxxxxxxx_

**End Notes:** Yep, that's right kiddies. 30 drabbles have been posted which means, it's the end of the series. _C'est tout. Fini. _Hope you enjoyed the show. Y'all come back now, y'here?

I feel I have to say, no matter how much I tried, I couldn't get _Supernova_ to come out the way I had envisioned it. _**Guyute24**_ was happy with it, and she gave me the theme, so I suppose that's the most important bit, but I still couldn't get it just the way I had it in my head, so ::shrug:: I dunno. I happen to like _Aberrant_ and _Book_ very much. _Fight_ worries me because the scene is sticking in my head and that usually means Puck the Muse might be inclined to do something else with it, (but I make no promises) and I don't really like _Name_ much at all.

But that's just me. What do you guys think?

**P.S.**: I was inspired for a few of these on a particular quote from poetry or lyrics or even from a movie. Eventually, I'll post those up on 'emsscraps'.


	4. An Offer

Hi All!

I am so sorry to disappoint, but this isn't an update to this story.

However...it could be.

I decided that I want to write X/Rae fic, but because I don't have any particular story in mind, I thought I might extend one of these drabbles to a one-shot.

_Then_, I thought, well -- there's thirty of the drabbles...I should probably make three of them into one-shots.

So, which to pick?

I figured that maybe it would be fun if y'all picked.

So, yeah.

Which one do you want to see extended?

I've put a poll up on my livejournal.

emsscraps . livejournal . com (remove spaces)

I've made three polls, divided them by ten. I'll make one drabble from each part a one-shot.

Go vote! That is, if you want to see any of these extended!


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